ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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