i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize