i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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