They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
