Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
