what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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