question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
