Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
