actually, I'm a sock model
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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