Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
