And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I touched a dick in church today
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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