what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize