We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
