I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want to fling myself into the sun
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
