I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
