I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
