I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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