puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
