Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize