He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
