You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize