Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
