you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my poor anus
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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