I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
