I cockslap morals
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
