um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
