Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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