Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
