JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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