Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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