marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
