Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize