You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
