i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize