just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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