great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
