I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
