It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
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It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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