Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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