Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
