PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
