The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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