She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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