She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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