id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
