New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
