omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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