Fuck appropriateness.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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