Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?