Me. At least after what I've been through.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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