drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
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even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ