It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize