okay pat passed out under dana's car
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
