I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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