this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
