Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
