It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize