I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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