When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
