He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.