you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before