I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.