Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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