Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Terrible idea I love it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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