We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
