I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
