i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
