I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
