Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
soo... how was my night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
