note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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