I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
