I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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