She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
