We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
