I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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