please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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